Once upon a time, I thought like most people. I wanted true love. Then one day, I laid eyes upon another pair. Instantly, I wished for those beautiful eyes to be mine. In a far, far away place in the universe, a planet, or a lone star, or an undiscovered moon, or perhaps a lonely comet heard my wish. Out of millions, the celestial being took a chance on me. Before I knew it, love stood in front of me and declared its affection. When I finally got my wish, I couldn't accept it.
Nothing is more tragic than unrequited love except being offered love and not knowing how to accept it.
I didn't understand. I couldn't figure it out. Why couldn't I just open my arms and let love rest its head in my embrace? It took me a while before I learned the answer, an answer that had been in front of me all along but I was too blind to see.
How can you love someone else's flaws when you can't even accept your scars, blemishes, and uneven ears?
How can you love someone else despite their past if you haven't let go of your own?
How can you love someone else's language when you are not even familiar with your own?
How can you let in someone who's worthy when you believe yourself you are not worthy?
How can you love someone else when you don't even love yourself?
Loving somebody is not only embracing their good and their strengths. To love somebody is to accept their wholeness in spite of their weaknesses and shortcomings. To love somebody is to witness their nakedness and see beauty beyond imperfections.
Loving yourself is a mirror.
Loving yourself is not only embracing your good and your strengths. To love yourself is to accept your wholeness in spite of your weaknesses and shortcomings. To love yourself is to witness your own nakedness and see your own beauty beyond your imperfections.
I learned that the hard way.
Just because I brought that new shirt and new game, it doesn't mean I love myself. Just because I posted a photo of me on Instagram having "the time of my life" in some beach somewhere, it doesn't mean I love myself. Just because I got a job at that great company, it doesn't mean I love myself.
It goes way deeper than that. To learn to love yourself, you have to go into the deepest pit of your being, the pit nobody else can see but you, the pit locked by a gate which only you hold the key yet you refuse to dive in and open it. To learn to love yourself, you must be friends with the innermost part of your essence. Discover every nook and cranny. Get to know the inner voice you've been trying to drown in silence for so long. Get acquainted with every cell and every tissue, be comrades with every thought and every emotion, and be family with your purpose and your dreams.
When you do, when you finally get in sync with who you are, when you can wake up in the morning with peace because you are comfortable with yourself, when you breathe with courage unafraid of the world, and when you finally love yourself, you will glow from within. It will be a glow pure and genuine they will never be able to explain. Perhaps for the first time in your life, their words will be useless and they will be put in awe, in marvel of that mysterious energy emanating from you. You will stand out from millions. Then a planet, or a lone star, or an undiscovered moon, or perhaps a lonely comet from far, far away will see you. The celestial being would declare, "What a remarkable human being!" Love will stand in front of you. You'll embrace it with open arms and let its head rest softly in your warm embrace.
Once upon a time, I thought like most people. Now I get out of bed every morning with peace and face the world armed with bravery. The celestial being? I know it's watching.
Cover image: Scary hall by Leo Hidalgo