Xeno Hemlock
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The Friendship Manifesto (10 Commandments to Create a Meaningful Friendship)

I wrote a letter, to my friends and my future friends, about how I think friendship should be. But I changed my mind. Why write a letter? It felt like pleading, desperate. Friendship, like any good relationship, must be two-way. It must begin with me. I should state what I want from it instead of squeezing myself into the empty cracks of the other person to form a whole. And if the other person reacts in a negative way, then that's an obvious clue the friendship will never be two-way. Never ever beg for the acceptance of another. Let's be ourselves to draw the right people to us. Quality over quantity. You can be friends with a thousand people but if you're compromising yourself, the friendship is in no way genuine.

Below are the ten commandments of a good friendship, the kind we should all be striving for. In this time when it's easy to "connect" with another person, think about how many connections serve nothing good at all. Make it a checklist if you must, which you can use in evaluating your friendships. Let's give it a better name, something stronger and powerful. Let's call it The Friendship Manifesto, which will contain our new standards in cultivating a healthy, positive, and great friendship. Pull a friend to your side, read the manifesto together, and start building a relationship that will motivate and inspire you from here on out.

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8 Beliefs to Help You Stop Judging Other People

When we judge other people, we waste time and energy that could be put to doing something productive instead. Our energy gets depleted. We suddenly feel tired and weak.

When we judge other people, we relinquish power to them. They get our attention. They get under our skin. They take away our energy. They stain our mind with negative thoughts. They win. We lose. Simple as that.

When we judge other people, we put a wall between them and ourselves, an invisible barrier unseen but felt by both party. The chance of forming a connection to them is lost.

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The Value of The Past

Is your past something you don't want to think about anymore, not even for a single second?

I used to have that mindset, the want to feel totally hands-free of yesteryears' memories, to cut-off completely the reminders of pain, failures, and bleak times. Living in the moment and working towards the future are more appealing than recalling the past. But I realised in this journey called life that acknowledging the past does not mean going back to it and reliving its horrors. I learned that I didn't have to run away in fear from it. I also learned that looking back does not mean I am once again stuck in the mud of the past. Instead, I am only looking down at it from up above, the size of it no bigger than the shape of my shoes. Among the rubbles of the past is its value. It cannot be undone or corrected but it's not totally useless.

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