Xeno Hemlock
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Posts tagged true self
9 Things I Tell Myself When the Going Gets Tough

I admit, being an independent author is not for the faint of heart. Things aren't always easy. You can put a lot of work but the amount of return isn't guaranteed. Certainty is a fleeting cloud easily blown by a breeze. When things get tough, I tell myself these following nine reminders to keep going. Because I sometimes design images, I decided to make this journal post colorful.

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#ThinkAboutIt - Do You Celebrate Your Small Victories?

I can’t recall all my personal victories I let pass without my acknowledging of them. 

I didn’t keep track. I didn’t even count. 

I never did. 

For most of my life, I thought the only thing worth celebrating was the attainment of the ultimate goal. All the preluding notes toward the grand orchestral finish didn’t warrant any mention, recognition, or merit. As long as the big prize is still yet to be coveted, there’s no reason to celebrate

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The Friendship Manifesto (10 Commandments to Create a Meaningful Friendship)

I wrote a letter, to my friends and my future friends, about how I think friendship should be. But I changed my mind. Why write a letter? It felt like pleading, desperate. Friendship, like any good relationship, must be two-way. It must begin with me. I should state what I want from it instead of squeezing myself into the empty cracks of the other person to form a whole. And if the other person reacts in a negative way, then that's an obvious clue the friendship will never be two-way. Never ever beg for the acceptance of another. Let's be ourselves to draw the right people to us. Quality over quantity. You can be friends with a thousand people but if you're compromising yourself, the friendship is in no way genuine.

Below are the ten commandments of a good friendship, the kind we should all be striving for. In this time when it's easy to "connect" with another person, think about how many connections serve nothing good at all. Make it a checklist if you must, which you can use in evaluating your friendships. Let's give it a better name, something stronger and powerful. Let's call it The Friendship Manifesto, which will contain our new standards in cultivating a healthy, positive, and great friendship. Pull a friend to your side, read the manifesto together, and start building a relationship that will motivate and inspire you from here on out.

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Choose Your Lonely (2 Types of Loneliness)

People you know look at you as if you're crazy:

"Oh dear you haven't seen the latest episode of The Walking Dead yet?"

"Did you see my Facebook post? It has a hundred likes and a gazillion comments already."

"We had a great time without you. You sure missed out big time."

"Pizza is yummy. Pizza with lots of pepperoni is super delicious."

You smile, say something like "Cool!", and return to working on your manuscript, writing an email follow up to that someone important, or eating your broccoli (because broccoli is healthy, yummy, and super delicious too). Then you realise you're alone. They don't join you because what you're doing is not fun. On the other hand, seeking attention on Facebook and gossiping about other people are fun and important. And yes, don't forget the pizza (because pizza is yummy and lots of pepperoni is super delicious). Unless what you're doing satisfies people's need for instant gratification, be prepared to being alone.

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#ThinkAboutIt - Can You Spend Time With What You Dislike?

Sometimes, in spending time with what we don't like we find reminders of our true self, of who we are in our core.

Sometimes, in spending time with what we don't like we find life, beauty, and dreams.

Sometimes, in spending time with what we don't like we are reminded to always look beyond the cover.

Sometimes, in spending time with what we don't like we learn or re-learn something important to us.

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Signs That Your Online and Offline Selves are Incongruent

Picture the physical version of yourself. A face on a head. Limbs made of flesh and bones. You have clothes on unless you go naked all the time. You have a unique set of mannerisms. And a name, unseen but spoken and written.

Next, conjure a picture of your online version. A face on a head, which is mostly a square and sometimes a circle. Limbs made of flesh and bones which sometimes we see or not depending on whether the square would show it. You have clothes on too, the best you have I must say, unless you like going naked all the time too. Your unique set of mannerisms we cannot see unless you are a moving series of images accompanied by a recorded sound.  Finally, a name! Sometimes spoken but always seen and always written.

Now, what's the difference between the two?

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