Xeno Hemlock
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Posts tagged relationship
The Inner Journey is Our Compass

This year, despite the political shenanigans, personal disappointments, career bumps, and even financial setbacks, I will not call 2017 a shit year. I will not look back on it and say, “That’s the year my Twitter timeline was flooding with negative local news.” Also, “That’s the year I got financially fucked because of an ill-planned investment.” Why? Because the world isn’t always a happy and worry-free paradise. That’s the reality.

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Your Time Will Come | The Illusion and Delusion of Success

If you’re pursuing your purpose and your dreams, it’s easy to fall at times into the mental trap that you’re not making any progress. Everywhere, on traditional and social media, you see people wearing their medals of success with bravado and announcing it to the world. Due to frustration, tiredness, or even loneliness, you feel envious. Thus, you ask yourself, “Why them? Why not me?” You want to turn around, do something else, or, worse, give up. The doubts in your heads have turned friendly.

There are two things you need to remember if you fall into that mental trap: the illusion and the delusion of success.

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3 Tips on How to Deal With Family and Friends Not Supporting Your Dreams

Nothing is more disappointing than offering blood of commitment and tears of sacrifice to the fruition of your dreams only for it to be met with the sound of crickets and an army of tumbleweeds from your family and friends when you finally achieve it. The release of my book Walden and Hyde (and Other Short Stories) gave me that exact experience.

It was no secret, the signs had been all over the place. Chasing my dream of penning a fiction book was a road that I had been traveling for two years. I often talked about it in my blog. I frequently posted about it on social media. It possessed my life for months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes. The past two years was spent toiling away in solitude to move words from chaos to order. By virtue of action, it was plain to see that I passionately wanted it. 

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The Friendship Manifesto (10 Commandments to Create a Meaningful Friendship)

I wrote a letter, to my friends and my future friends, about how I think friendship should be. But I changed my mind. Why write a letter? It felt like pleading, desperate. Friendship, like any good relationship, must be two-way. It must begin with me. I should state what I want from it instead of squeezing myself into the empty cracks of the other person to form a whole. And if the other person reacts in a negative way, then that's an obvious clue the friendship will never be two-way. Never ever beg for the acceptance of another. Let's be ourselves to draw the right people to us. Quality over quantity. You can be friends with a thousand people but if you're compromising yourself, the friendship is in no way genuine.

Below are the ten commandments of a good friendship, the kind we should all be striving for. In this time when it's easy to "connect" with another person, think about how many connections serve nothing good at all. Make it a checklist if you must, which you can use in evaluating your friendships. Let's give it a better name, something stronger and powerful. Let's call it The Friendship Manifesto, which will contain our new standards in cultivating a healthy, positive, and great friendship. Pull a friend to your side, read the manifesto together, and start building a relationship that will motivate and inspire you from here on out.

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3 Relationship Truths in Every Major Life Transformation

Shifts in our relationships during a major life transformation are cause of our biggest pains. Criticisms, doubts, putdowns, and abandonment. We'll get them directly or indirectly. We wonder why people we know so well are suddenly behaving in unfamiliar ways. On top of the effort required by our major life transformation, the attempt to understand and solve any visible or invisible issues with our shifting relationships adds to the weight. We should be focusing on the important matters in front of us and yet these people around us are not helping any by causing some disturbances. There are three relationship truths we must remember when we're going through a major life transformation to avoid further problems.

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#ThinkAboutIt - The Deaths That We Miss

With a tinge of sadness I closed the browser tab where I typed Hemlock Time's URL. If a part of me didn't die with the realisation Hemlock Time would be no more then something else died instead. I conjured a mental funeral for Hemlock Time, delivered a eulogy, and threw a bouquet of daffodils as the coffin was lowered under the ground. Hemlock Time's gone, another trophy for Death.

Thinking of Death made me realise something. We only care about the deaths (that already happened or that are still to come) of people, either ourselves or our loved-ones, and miss other kinds of death that happen here, there, sometime, or somewhere.

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The Invisible Fear of Managing the People in Our Lives (and Why You Should Address It)

Fear has plagued society for so long people no longer scoff at the sight of it. Fear of heights, of the dark, of animals, of the new, of change, of death - you name it, there's a fear for it. A lot of people has been enslaved by fear and they miss out on life's great adventures because of inactivity and hesitation, the result of letting it rule them . Sometimes, people choose to conquer their fears, moving past the stage of awareness. But sometimes some fears are not obvious like the fear of managing the people in our lives. We are afraid to face the reality that we must control our relationships with others and let them control us instead. But we mustn't. 

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