Xeno Hemlock
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Posts tagged past
I Dislike Looking Back but Today I Am Doing It

I'm not a friend of looking back. In fact, there are a few "looking back"-related things and events that make me cringe:

  • high school reunions

  • conversations about the "good old days"

  • discussions, that have no productive purpose, about past miseries and misfortunes

  • trying to reconnect with people I've fallen out of touch with

Now before you try to accuse me of being a grouch, look at things from my perspective.

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#ThinkAboutIt - Do You Celebrate Your Small Victories?

I can’t recall all my personal victories I let pass without my acknowledging of them. 

I didn’t keep track. I didn’t even count. 

I never did. 

For most of my life, I thought the only thing worth celebrating was the attainment of the ultimate goal. All the preluding notes toward the grand orchestral finish didn’t warrant any mention, recognition, or merit. As long as the big prize is still yet to be coveted, there’s no reason to celebrate

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The Importance of Peace in Living an Authentic Life

We could pretend to live an authentic life but if we are not comfortable in our own skin, if we dislike parts of ourselves, and if we have no understanding of who we really are, then it’s a lie. As Mike said, an authentic life is one that doesn’t wear a mask and make up stories. It’s one who shows its true self to the world with pride and courage. 

We can’t live an authentic life if we don’t make peace with who we are. We cannot be the soldier who goes to battle when he hasn’t even resolved the war he has with himself.

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Hmm, Ew! Double Ew! Gross! How Typical.

I dare you to find any device that will transport us back in time so we can be face to face with our past (ridiculous) selves. While you scramble, plodding through the vault of technological science for something that can do just that, I am already having a conversation with an old version of me all thanks to my azure mind.

Now before you go ballistic on me exploding “What the *&#% is an azure mind? How can you *&#%ing tell your mind is azure? Or do you really mean ‘a sure’ mind?”, I want you to sit down, relax, breathe in and out, and just chill.

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3 Relationship Truths in Every Major Life Transformation

Shifts in our relationships during a major life transformation are cause of our biggest pains. Criticisms, doubts, putdowns, and abandonment. We'll get them directly or indirectly. We wonder why people we know so well are suddenly behaving in unfamiliar ways. On top of the effort required by our major life transformation, the attempt to understand and solve any visible or invisible issues with our shifting relationships adds to the weight. We should be focusing on the important matters in front of us and yet these people around us are not helping any by causing some disturbances. There are three relationship truths we must remember when we're going through a major life transformation to avoid further problems.

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The Value of The Past

Is your past something you don't want to think about anymore, not even for a single second?

I used to have that mindset, the want to feel totally hands-free of yesteryears' memories, to cut-off completely the reminders of pain, failures, and bleak times. Living in the moment and working towards the future are more appealing than recalling the past. But I realised in this journey called life that acknowledging the past does not mean going back to it and reliving its horrors. I learned that I didn't have to run away in fear from it. I also learned that looking back does not mean I am once again stuck in the mud of the past. Instead, I am only looking down at it from up above, the size of it no bigger than the shape of my shoes. Among the rubbles of the past is its value. It cannot be undone or corrected but it's not totally useless.

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Old Faces, New Friends

Pool. Food. Drinks. Old jokes and old funny stories. These were the highlights of my Saturday night. I was with a group of familiar faces, those I've known for more than a decade. Yet a part of me said they're strangers to me. I knew their names but I didn't know who they were.

After having no Facebook identity for years, something came over me and I created a new Facebook account early this year. In some weird coincidence, a former high school classmate "stumbled" upon my newly created account, sent me a friend request, and a stream of friend requests from our other high school classmates soon followed.

That led to a reunion with two of my former classmates who I had no contact with for years. We set up a rendezvous and caught up with each other's lives in one night. That was followed with several nights of catching up with other people from high school. A day turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Those months turned into a gathering by the pool under the moon with a toddler in tow. And there I was, who believed I had completely shed my past away.

I was wrong.

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