Xeno Hemlock
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Posts tagged memories
A Memory From the Cosmos/A Blip in My Normalcy

I've had my fair share of flops, failures, and disappointments in my writing career. However, the beat goes on and I'm still marching on. Sometimes I feel nostalgic, not that I yearn and want to live in the past (no, thank you very much). But every now and then old memories pop in to say hello. So I look at some of my abandoned projects. For a short while, I'm transported to an early time when I probably had some or all of the following: hubris, a few chips on my shoulder, "smoldering" passion, and unbridled addiction to a certain alcohol. 

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Breasts, Pubic Hair, Chains, Dog, and the Lack of Underwear (an Excerpt from "I Killed My Friends and It Thrilled Me")

The release of my debut novel is approaching and it thrills me. March 6. Mark your calendar.

As much as I'd like to, I want nothing to leak before the release date.

But I had a little change of heart.

As a post-Valentine's present, I give you an excerpt from the book, taken from the chapter "Breasts, Pubic Hair, Chains, Dog, and the Lack of Underwear".

If you don't want to be spoiled by anything, turn your back now. Otherwise, enjoy!

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Accepting the Revolving Door of People in Our Lives

How many of us fail to learn to stand on our own two feet because we can't let go of the truth that nobody can do the walking for us? How many relationships go to an untimely bitter end because either party wants to keep the other tied to a chain? How many of us get stuck in a cruel passage of time where everything around us has moved on except for us? There's a revolving door of people in our lives, one that must constantly go on moving. If we stop it, nobody can get out but nobody can get in as well. If we just let it be, yes people can get out but others can go in too. Whatever we choose, the outcome will be the same.

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Hmm, Ew! Double Ew! Gross! How Typical.

I dare you to find any device that will transport us back in time so we can be face to face with our past (ridiculous) selves. While you scramble, plodding through the vault of technological science for something that can do just that, I am already having a conversation with an old version of me all thanks to my azure mind.

Now before you go ballistic on me exploding “What the *&#% is an azure mind? How can you *&#%ing tell your mind is azure? Or do you really mean ‘a sure’ mind?”, I want you to sit down, relax, breathe in and out, and just chill.

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People Who Will Not Support Your Dream

There are two reasons why we want others to know about our dream. One, we are brimming with so much energy from our dream we want somebody else to take some from us before we explode. Two, we want support, a pillar of strength, or a beacon of hope. 

There are two types of reaction we'll receive if we choose to share our dream with a fellow human being. First is indifference, sometimes expressed like this smiley :| and sometimes expressed as a lethargic "Okay". Second is the false enthusiasm. "Oh cool! We'll support that," others would say but would never do it. Which is the lesser poison? The indifference. I'd rather get the cold, bitter truth instead of the burning, sweet lie which feels like another sucker punch to the gut. Temperature and taste aside, below is a list of people who may not support your dream. Warning: Don't cry your eyes out.

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The Value of The Past

Is your past something you don't want to think about anymore, not even for a single second?

I used to have that mindset, the want to feel totally hands-free of yesteryears' memories, to cut-off completely the reminders of pain, failures, and bleak times. Living in the moment and working towards the future are more appealing than recalling the past. But I realised in this journey called life that acknowledging the past does not mean going back to it and reliving its horrors. I learned that I didn't have to run away in fear from it. I also learned that looking back does not mean I am once again stuck in the mud of the past. Instead, I am only looking down at it from up above, the size of it no bigger than the shape of my shoes. Among the rubbles of the past is its value. It cannot be undone or corrected but it's not totally useless.

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