Xeno Hemlock
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Posts tagged ambition
The Value of The Past

Is your past something you don't want to think about anymore, not even for a single second?

I used to have that mindset, the want to feel totally hands-free of yesteryears' memories, to cut-off completely the reminders of pain, failures, and bleak times. Living in the moment and working towards the future are more appealing than recalling the past. But I realised in this journey called life that acknowledging the past does not mean going back to it and reliving its horrors. I learned that I didn't have to run away in fear from it. I also learned that looking back does not mean I am once again stuck in the mud of the past. Instead, I am only looking down at it from up above, the size of it no bigger than the shape of my shoes. Among the rubbles of the past is its value. It cannot be undone or corrected but it's not totally useless.

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Lay Siege to Shit

He said I couldn't do it even when I expressed I wanted to do it. But I did. Now I got shit on my two hands, shit from sweat, fire, tears, persistence, and lots of late night work. Shit that, if only for myself, I'm proud of.

My stance on overhyping on the Internet remains the same. It must be avoided. It opens a floodgate to overpromising and underdelivering, leading to damage on one's credibility and one goes kerflop in front of the public. It's switch-and-bait. I tell you about this five-star resort only for you to find out it's barely two-stars.

But let me just say this quick. The first draft of my novel is complete. Shit.

It's shit because that's what I always say about my first drafts, whether they be a short story, a poem, or an essay, they're all shit. For almost a year, having writing as my “unofficial” profession (I don't get paid, by the way), I learned how to write shit, to not be afraid of imperfection and jumbled pieces of ideas, because the goal of the first blank page siege is not the reorganization of the fortress but rather the capture of it. Get those related and unrelated thoughts on paper, then reorganize it into an orderly kingdom.

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Boredom - A Criminal Act Against Time

“I'm bored.”

“WHY?” appears in big bold letters inside a silent balloon above my head whenever I hear these two words. I may do a Chloe as a display of disgust, for the word 'bored' is offensive to me, and when lumped with the phrase 'I am' it becomes criminal.

In this age, I find it amusing how people still get bored. At the end of our fingertips is an abundance of things to occupy our time: apps, hobbies, entertainment, places, and people. I have over a hundred apps on my smartphone and tablet to accompany me at my behest. Twitter and Medium alone take majority of my smartphone usage. I'm still plowing through Writer's Digest's Grammar Desk Reference which I bought a few weeks ago. And last month's issue of Reader's Digest is still waiting to spend some time with me. 50 Cent's Animal Ambition and Die Antwoord's Donker Mag both still have zero play count in my iTunes. And I already have Above and Beyond's latest EP Sticky Fingers on repeat. I'm yearning to visit New York City but I am already planning on returning to Singapore this year. I'm looking forward to knowing writers around the world while keeping up with my friends. There is a lot to be done on this earth; I have no time to get bored!

I have a few observations about people who gets inflicted with boredom often.

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