Xeno Hemlock


People Who Will Not Support Your Dream

Finding out that people didn't share the same enthusiasm and excitement for my dreams felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Hello? Didn't they know I cried many times inside a packed moving van in the night on the way home from work because I couldn't contain the emotions my dream elicited from me? Didn't they know the number of vodka shots I took before bedtime as a precursor to admitting my life pre-dream was going to waste? Didn't they know the emotional turmoil I had gone through shifting to a new path in my life? Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. I could go on and on about other related things but there's one important thing worth a mention - @@following our dreams doesn't guarantee people will support us.@@

There are two reasons why we want others to know about our dream. One, we are brimming with so much energy from our dream we want somebody else to take some from us before we explode. Two, we want support, a pillar of strength, or a beacon of hope. 

There are two types of reaction we'll receive if we choose to share our dream with a fellow human being. First is indifference, sometimes expressed like this smiley :| and sometimes expressed as a lethargic "Okay". Second is the false enthusiasm. "Oh cool! We'll support that," others would say but would never prove. Which is the lesser poison? The indifference. I'd rather get the cold, bitter truth instead of the burning, sweet lie which feels like another sucker punch to the gut. Temperature and taste aside, below is a list of people who may not support your dream. Warning: Don't cry your eyes out.



Ever since we were little, our parents already had labels for us. Tony the doctor. Jackie the astronaut. Billy the teacher. Oscar the engineer. Whatever dreams they didn't attain in their past, they passed it on to us little ones. While all we wanted then was to play with our toys, Daddy envisioned us parking a Porsche in the garage someday and Mommy wanted us to be famous, respected, and filthy rich someday.

And then we grew up. Instead of medicating humans we chose to medicate horses. Instead of exploring the outer space we were drawn to the deep blue water of the seas. Instead of teaching Mathematics and Science we chose to teach about spirituality and personal development. Not showing any interest in being a computer engineer, we became stage actors instead. We chose our own dreams, not our parents' dreams. Doing so hurt their egos and caused their visions to collapse. They planted a seed and waited many years for the apple fruit but they got pomegranate instead. That's why they will not support our dreams.



Your brother's best memory of you was when he punched you in the face for being an annoying brat. Your sister's best memory of you was when she told your parents you cheated in a school exam for which you got punished for. But now, you're riding high in the sky on a silver Pegasus or incorporating your name in every nation's vocabulary. The effect - your brother and sister are both confused. What happened to that brat with the snotty and booger-filled nose? What happened to that good-for-nothing sibling who loved failing marks in school? Well you tell them. "I just circled above the Bermuda Triangle with Pegasus after patenting my name." Your siblings cannot believe the snotty, annoying brat grew into a Pegasus-riding daredevil. That's why they will not support your dream.



Your cousin. Your aunt. Your uncle. Your other cousin. Your aunt's husband. Your grandfather. Your grandmother. Your grandfather's brother. Your grandmother's sister. Your other cousin who's not the previous other cousin. They all share one thing - a stake in the family name, a trophy that must be kept scratch-free and shiny as much as possible. But their definition of scratch-free and shiny is limited. Grandfather's scratch-free and shiny only consist of the following: doctor, astronaut, teacher, and engineer. Grandmother added lawyer. Uncle added businessman. Aunt categorised engineer into civil engineer, computer engineer, industrial engineer, and chemical engineer. The other cousin slipped fashion designer of chic, cool, and hip clothes to the list without anybody noticing. You look at the list and tried to find writer. Nothing, not even obituary writer. Choose from the list and you're still part of the family tree. Choose something not on the list and you'll find your spot marked with a black marker. That's why they will not support your dream.



Yesterday you were hanging out at the bar guzzling bottle after bottle (or glass after glass) of alcohol talking about the following in no particular order: the latest celebrity sex scandal, the latest high school classmate's scandal, the latest Facebook post of that co-worker you both hate, Season 7 Episode 10 of True Blood, the latest Fantastic 4 flop, and that girl (a.k.a. the one that got away) one of your friends could never seem to get over with. Today is different. You want to take about goal-setting, quality relationship building, overcoming life's obstacles, and losing that beer belly around your, well, belly. Inside the craniums of your friends they're thinking, "Who the fuck is this? Can someone please bring my friend back?" Your friends don't care about the no-more-alcohol-for-me and no-more-whining friend. They want the gimme-more-beer-fuck-yeah and do-you-remember-when friend they loved so dearly. That's why they will not support your dream.



Me. Me. Me. We. Me. Me. We. Me. Us. We. Me. 

Unless your significant other is not the "my-love-you-complete-me-you-are-my-other-half-without-you-i'm-not-whole" type, prepare for lots of angry text messages, missed calls, and cold shoulder treatment (unless you woo them). That's why they will not support your dream. 



They did not, do not, and will never support your dream.



She's glad to be relieved of you but not glad to deal with a hundred more students that are like you. Or she probably no longer remembers you anymore. That's why she will not support your dream.



There are two things that concern a pizza delivery guy. One is making it to the delivery address on time. Second is the tip. Talking about your dream after taking the pizza boxes from him will confuse him. "Gimme the tip," he thinks. That's why he will not support your dream.


The chef who didn't wash his hands in the restaurant, your favourite hairstylist at the salon, the fish vendors in the wet market, your real estate agent, that douchebag at the gym, that other douchebag at the gym, your cousin (oh wait, we already did this one) and the list goes on and on. There will be many people who may also not support your dream which leads us to the question below. 

@@Why are we waiting for their validation?@@

Why should we make our dreams dependent on their approval and support. Aren't we ourselves enough to convince us to the take the first step, then the second, the third, and the rest? If they refuse to support us, why should we fold and hold back? When we do so and our time is finally up, are we going to rest with a satisfied smile or say, "I wish I didn't wait for their green light. It was my dream after all. Mine."?

And because you got discouraged by people who didn't want to support your dream you didn't get a chance to meet those who would.


P.S. This was in the second to the final draft but I realised pets are not people.


Dog: "Rub my belly!"

Cat: "Bring me to my food, slave."

Fish: "glob...glob...glob..."

Iguana: "..."

They do not support your dreams.

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