Xeno Hemlock
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Now You See Me, Now You Don't

Here's my contribution to this recent talk revival on depression due to Kate Spade's and Anthony Bourdain's deaths.

As a former sufferer of it, I offer you not any tip on how to overcome it (that’s for another day) but a perspective on what it felt like.

Xeno Hemlock Poem Now You See Me Now You Dont.jpeg

Now you see me, now you don't.
I'm tired of putting up a front.
You show me your trophies, of course I smile.
For you I've gone another extra mile.
Know that every cheer I give to you,
bits of my heart further break in two.
Every day's a challenge to act I'm strong.
Still you applaud me but what if you're wrong?
Don't tell me “Hi”. Don't say “Hello”.
Dive for my feelings deep below.
My strength's a candle, it will go out.
If you wonder, friend, there's no doubt.
Without a flame from yours or mine,
I will cease seeing my last lifeline.