Xeno Hemlock
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Blog

Posts in Journal
10 Random Life Lessons (From Death to Reason to Family)

Call it getting old or whatever you want but the more I find contentment in my real life the less I have the energy to share it. I’m not saying sharing your life on social media for public consumption is wrong. However, some appear to overdo it complete with powerful captions and hashtags of jubilance, which sometimes prompts you to think, “Is all this an attempt to feign a ‘happy life’?” Last year, I had lots of good and happy events, I missed sharing online because I was too busy enjoying them so much. We don’t need the likes and favourites of online strangers to validate that we are living a good and happy life.

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A Memory From the Cosmos/A Blip in My Normalcy

I've had my fair share of flops, failures, and disappointments in my writing career. However, the beat goes on and I'm still marching on. Sometimes I feel nostalgic, not that I yearn and want to live in the past (no, thank you very much). But every now and then old memories pop in to say hello. So I look at some of my abandoned projects. For a short while, I'm transported to an early time when I probably had some or all of the following: hubris, a few chips on my shoulder, "smoldering" passion, and unbridled addiction to a certain alcohol. 

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First Day; Goodbye

It's hard to say goodbye, to people, to beliefs, and even to places, especially if that place is where you built the beginning of your dream career.

Today, I sit here inside my favorite Starbucks store on its final operating day writing my first blog post for 2018. The closing of the store was supposed to happen months ago but got delayed a couple of times. I hoped some divine intervention would interfere and prevent today's event at all. But I guess some things were meant to end (or be). 

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The Inner Journey is Our Compass

This year, despite the political shenanigans, personal disappointments, career bumps, and even financial setbacks, I will not call 2017 a shit year. I will not look back on it and say, “That’s the year my Twitter timeline was flooding with negative local news.” Also, “That’s the year I got financially fucked because of an ill-planned investment.” Why? Because the world isn’t always a happy and worry-free paradise. That’s the reality.

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2017: Not My Year of Victory

Sometimes I find myself writing what seems to be endless drafts of a new writing assignment. When that's the case, I know either the topic lacks some depth or is completely the wrong one to write about. As I worked on my traditional end-of-year reflective blog post this month, I saw four drafts already on my digital notebook but I still felt the task was going nowhere. 

The story wound up like this.

Xeno: I have every right to call 2017 my year of victory. After three years toiling for my debut novel I Killed My Friends and It Thrilled Me, it had finally moved from Xenosphere to Internetosphere. I've achieved one of my big dreams and I could call myself successful. On the other hand... blah, blah, blah... lukewarm reception for my indie book... blah, blah, blah... graphic design career that didn't take off... blah, blah, blah... sudden disappearance of someone dear to me... blah, blah, blah... so I'm going to call 2017 my year of humility!

Still, that didn't feel right.

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The Case of the Repeating Numbers (I've Seen the Future)

11:11. 1:11. 2:22. 3:33. Every time I saw repeating numbers, on the clock, smart phone, or even the computer, I opened ajar the door of my heart to sadness. The sometimes-starless sky reminded of my foolishness and cowardice. To the-one-that-got-away out there drinking cola and vodka, I sent a wish of happiness and prosperity, things better said face to face while sharing a bottle of spirit.

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