Walden and Hyde (and Other Short Stories)
"They called her Wilma Walden. I loved and hated her my entire life.
My name? You have to download the book to find out. All the important things about me are in there: the color of the crayon that I ate, the place where I secretly found my parents fucking (yes, you read that right - fucking), the person I referred to as the Bitch, the worst song/composition/whatchamacallit ever in the entire world, like EVER, ugly Grandma Eyeglasses, and the girl whose boobs I envied.
There’s more: the boy who I wanted to be my first boyfriend, the man who became my real first boyfriend, that other man who became my extra boyfriend (he abused and used me like a doll in cheap motels), and the traitor who desired to steal my first boyfriend.
And yes, that’s me on the fucking bloody cover. Don’t I look beautiful? Say yes or you’ll regret it.
Did I mention that they called her Wilma Walden? As for my name, that’s for you to find out."