I Killed 78 Minor Characters and It Relieved Me
/You might (or might not) have noticed my absence from blogging in the past month. That's because I dove Pacific Ocean-deep into working on the draft of my novel I Killed My Friends and It Thrilled Me, which I just finished yesterday.
Earlier this year, I worked with an editor who reviewed an earlier draft of the story to find plot holes, spot character inconsistencies, and discover possible causes of literature anomalies. With her very valuable feedback in my hands, I went into an excruciating yet essential labor to further strengthen the story. Swimming to the deeper part of the ocean brought some plot changes (which thrilled me) and unfortunate casualties.
Here I want to commemorate the 78 minor characters who didn't make it past the last draft. Some were there from the very beginning, others were late addition. Essentialism is not only beneficial to our personal affairs, it's also significant in writing a tight story. The absence of minor characters makes a story incomplete yet the overabundance of them makes it a clusterfuck.
My dear babies/bitches, so long! Maybe someday we'll meet in another story again. It was great meeting y'all.
Rest in Literary Peace
- Tracy - personal trainer
- Elaine - personal trainer
- Danielle - magazine editor
- Anastasia - misunderstood lady who Herbert dated
- Douglas - the dog
- Melissa - Sarah Montgomery's cousin
- female lover wearing a tutu
- male lover wearing a pirate costume
- bus driver #1
- fat lady in the bus
- man wearing old shirt in the bus
- Michelle Adkins - shy building receptionist
- Violet - receptionist
- Vivica Wolf - Human Resource Manager
- Charlie Polanski aka Chewbacca Charlie - Herbert and Wilma's former co-worker
- Locker room guy #1 - unlucky guy forced to have sex with Leopold
- Locker room guy #2 - another unlucky guy forced to have sex with Leopold
- wig-wearing gentleman in the bus
- man who stepped on the fallen wig while looking for a seat in the bus
- cheating man/scum
- girl who slapped the cheating man/scum
- cheering teenager in the bus #1
- cheering teenager in the bus #2
- bus driver #2
- robber with a knife in the bus
- robbed girl in the bus #1
- robbed girl in the bus #2
- man wearing colorful clothes
- woman wearing colorful clothes
- blonde female adult who wants to twerk like Miley Cyrus
- brunette female adult who wants to twerk like Miley Cyrus
- redhead female adult who wants to twerk like Miley Cyrus
- guy wearing purple plaid pants with suspenders
- guy wearing a hotdog sandwich costume
- guy wearing a helmet-less Darth Vader costume
- guy in a Noir-inspired suit
- elderly lady who loves wine
- fat girl who was fed popcorn as a toddler
- dark-skinned guy who's curious about the fat girl
- boy with thick eyeglasses who played chess with the hotdog sandwich guy
- Pierce Brosnan/James Bond look-alike
- guy in Team Rocket James costume
- girl in Team Rocket Jessie costume
- persian cat
- ballet girl #1
- ballet girl #2
- Tommy Pickles look-alike
- Chuckie Finster look-alike
- Phil DeVille look-alike
- Lil DeVille look-alike
- Angelica Pickles look-alike
- Susie Carmichael look-alike
- Dil Pickles look-alike
- Kimi Finster look-alike
- boy in neon-coloured onesie #1
- boy in neon-coloured onesie #2
- boy in neon-coloured onesie #3
- Miley Cyrus or a look-alike?
- Nick - Herbert's neighbor
- John - Herbert's neighbor
- Jane - Herbert's neighbor
- Chad Warren - Herbert and friends' classmate
- Mr. Polonsky - high school teacher
- kid on the beach #1
- kid on the beach #2
- Emily - Francis and Herbert's beach lover
- Lily - Francis and Herbert's beach lover
- Dex - Herbert's co-worker
- Victoria - waitress
- Sylvia - swinger
- Santiago - swinger
- Mrs. Harper - Paula's mother
- Mr. Harper - Paula's father
- Oscar the mountain climber - Herbert and Wilma's former co-worker
- Ronald the ice cream aficionado - Herbert and Wilma's former co-worker
- Zoe the audiophile - Herbert and Wilma's former co-worker
- Dann - farm owner
- Rosetta - Dann's secretary
Notes:
- Herbert, Francis, Wilma, Sarah, and Paula will all appear in the upcoming novel I Killed My Friends and It Thrilled Me.
- Herbert, Francis, Wilma, Sarah, and Paula appeared in the collection Walden and Hyde (and Other Short Stories).