My name is Xeno Hemlock and I have a confession to make: shits have been going on in my life for the past 7 months. A lot of them don't make it past the curtain and into the world. Not that I'm trying to put on a facade or something but playing the woe-is-me game has never appealed to me.
Am I happy? Of course I am, sometimes and sometimes not. But that's because I believe that happiness is never permanent. It's like a butterfly, always fleeting. You chase it, the more it becomes elusive. The joy in chasing the butterfly is the chase itself. You catch it and then you don't know what else to do with it. Happiness is like that, yeah.
Am I scared? You bet I am, sometimes and sometimes not. So many things creep in our minds and heart to inject fear: doubts, uncertainties, failures, and rejection. I experience all of that, let it be known, but I soldier on because even the bravests of us get scared. The difference between them and the rest is action.
Do I have faith? I'm not religious, in case you do not know. I'm an atheist to be precise. But I have faith: in myself, my dreams, that things will turn out better, that I will get over the hurdles, and that everything is happening the way it should be according to some grand design. Paradoxical, maybe? First, I had to get rid of my old fear-based mindset. Second, I had to install in my mind tenacity. And now, I have to proof my tenacity.
I liken myself to somebody wearing foggy glasses. The sight ain't clear but I continue walking... and walking... and walking... and walking...