Nothing is more disappointing than offering blood of commitment and tears of sacrifice to the fruition of your dreams only for it to be met with the sound of crickets and an army of tumbleweeds from your family and friends when you finally achieve it. The release of my book Walden and Hyde (and Other Short Stories) gave me that exact experience.
It was no secret, the signs had been all over the place. Chasing my dream of penning a fiction book was a road that I had been traveling for two years. I often talked about it in my blog. I frequently posted about it on social media. It possessed my life for months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes. The past two years was spent toiling away in solitude to move words from chaos to order. By virtue of action, it was plain to see that I passionately wanted it.
@@Sometimes, the fire inside us burns so strong we yearn for someone to share the flame with.@@ And because that fire is special to us, we look no further than our family and friends, people we care for dearly, to share with us the burning.
But what if they don't? What if we can't count on them to feel some of the flames for us? What if, for any reason, they ignore our accomplishments, not even offering a short "Good job!" or even a casual "Well done"? It's disheartening to watch the people we care for take no notice of the fruits of our labor. How do we deal with such silent yet cruel indirect rejection? Here are three tips to deal with this type of event:
Remind yourself that you chased your dreams for yourself.
You made it happen. You did it. The only person you have an obligation to achieving your dream is yourself. Anyone can stop giving a damn about your dream but yourself. The only person who will always want to see you obtain your dream is the one staring right back at you everyday in the mirror. Never seek validation of your dreams from other people. It's nice if they acknowledge it. It's still nice even if they don't.
Each of us have different paths to take in our lives. The only pair of feet who will walk with you all throughout is yours. You chased your dream for yourself and you will chase more for yourself again.
Move on to your next project or goal.
You accomplished your dream so why not accomplish more? You have earned the right to celebrate your achievement but you haven't earned the right to retire to rest on your laurels for good and start living in your just achieved (and will someday be past) glory.
The accomplishment of one goal or dream isn't reason to stop pursuing another. We're all meant to make the best of our lives, to keep on achieving. It's why I'm writing this on a MacBook instead of paper. Society didn't settle for an object made from the pulp of wood. Society wanted something better, something more.
If you focus on your next mission and put more emphasis on action, you'll have less to no time mulling over disappointment.
Celebrate the people who appreciate you and your dream instead.
Some of my family and friends didn't utter a kind word to recognise my achievement. That's sad. But other people who didn't know me personally congratulated me. There's nothing, let me emphasise it, there's NOTHING sad about that.
The great thing about people, who don't know you that much, recognising your work is that it's guaranteed to be genuine. They have no emotional investment on you. When they give you praise and compliments, you can bet they're doing that because they see the value in you and what you have done.
For every five or ten family member or friend who do not support you, there are millions of people out there who may. It's your job to keep doing great work that will resonate with them. It's your obligation to stay positive and keep having faith because who else will they celebrate if you let temporary disappointment get you down and stop you from moving?
I remember someone telling me before "I'll support you". Yet in the end I got crickets and tumbleweeds, promising words amounting to nothing. I believe we should start holding people accountable not just for what they do but for what they say as well. After all, integrity is the matching of both. We can't just value one while undermining the other. We need a society that does as it says and says as it does.
But that's a discussion for another day. Yes, I have disappointments. Yes, I cannot help but feel let down. But I guzzled a tall cup of black coffee this evening while pounding the keys of my computer. I pursue my dream for me. I'm working on my upcoming novel. I remember the people who gave their precious time in reading my work and telling me they appreciate it. I can never let them down.
You will also never let them down.
Some crickets may continue singing. Some tumbleweeds may continue rolling. But you will keep working, moving, and achieving your goals and dreams. You will never stop.
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